A strange case of in flagrante delicto, fighting bosun's and a drunk coxswain
When the new Skipper took charge it was the custom that when entering harbour the first signal sent was to the nearest hospital requesting four nurses be invited to dinner. These were glorious piss ups, followed by the usual frolics. One such affair happened when I had the first watch one night. Idling on the bridge I flicked over one of the covers on the voice pipe to the navigator’s sea cabin, just one deck below. He was ‘operating’ with a nurse and everything was very audible through the pipe. Listening to this affair the kye man arrived and he was also listened in. On returning to the mess deck he informed the lads and about half a dozen turned up, all trying to get their ears to the pipe.
The nurse was performing fellatio on the navigator and the leading telegraphist had just come aboard from shore leave three sheets to the wind and although drunk was still seeing what his sparks was reporting. The sparks was on the bridge having a listen instead of on his set. He invited his senior to listen in and after about five minutes the L/Tel shouted down the pipe, “You dirty lousy bastard!” Everybody did a bunk over the front of the bridge onto the 4” gun platform. The stairs passed the navigator’s cabin, so nobody took those.
I, of course, being on watch, was left holding the baby. He came up with his nurse (a right battleaxe) after about 20 minutes, bold as brass, and to his merit, asked questions such as, “Who had been present on the bridge?”, not in a nasty manner, but quite matey actually. I told him I was on the phone most of the time and could not assist him. He knew about the kye man and also the last bloke to come up the stairs that was drunk and left it at that until the next morning, when he gave them all a right blast, which ended the affair. I understood he did have a private word with the L/Tel but none of us knew what it was. In the process he had the bridge and WT office thoroughly cleaned and brassed and the bridge deck pummied and bleached which took us well past knocking off time. No malice was ever present from either side, although his motorbike went missing the next evening but they appeared quite easy to obtain in Italy so no hard feelings.
A rather peculiar incident on the Vetch concerned a fight between an Able Seaman and the Buffer (the PO responsible for the seamen). The AB[1] was a very popular Yorkshire fellow but discipline had deteriorated to a low level due to the attitude of the Buffer and they agreed to meet in the waist of the ship (about amidships) to battle it out to clear the air.
The PO was foolish to accept the challenge and suffered a right thrashing that was stopped by the coxswain after about 10 minutes. The match did not clear the air, indeed it was uglier than ever and the Buffer left the ship on our next visit to Malta.
Ever after this incident when the coxswain came onboard half pissed after shore leave he used to come down to the mess deck and in his half doped state challenging anyone to a fight. No one rose to his challenge and he called everyone a coward for the way the Buffer and had his lot.
All took it in good spirits. There were three seamen messes below ours and they used to say “OK ‘Swain, I’m waiting for you!” and he would stagger down the stairs and the whole procedure would be reversed. Rather pathetic really but nobody disliked the coxswain, but the whole affair with the Buffer had affected him somehow. The funny thing about these incidents was the coxswain had no recall of them whatsoever the next day according to the PO Tel.
The nurse was performing fellatio on the navigator and the leading telegraphist had just come aboard from shore leave three sheets to the wind and although drunk was still seeing what his sparks was reporting. The sparks was on the bridge having a listen instead of on his set. He invited his senior to listen in and after about five minutes the L/Tel shouted down the pipe, “You dirty lousy bastard!” Everybody did a bunk over the front of the bridge onto the 4” gun platform. The stairs passed the navigator’s cabin, so nobody took those.
I, of course, being on watch, was left holding the baby. He came up with his nurse (a right battleaxe) after about 20 minutes, bold as brass, and to his merit, asked questions such as, “Who had been present on the bridge?”, not in a nasty manner, but quite matey actually. I told him I was on the phone most of the time and could not assist him. He knew about the kye man and also the last bloke to come up the stairs that was drunk and left it at that until the next morning, when he gave them all a right blast, which ended the affair. I understood he did have a private word with the L/Tel but none of us knew what it was. In the process he had the bridge and WT office thoroughly cleaned and brassed and the bridge deck pummied and bleached which took us well past knocking off time. No malice was ever present from either side, although his motorbike went missing the next evening but they appeared quite easy to obtain in Italy so no hard feelings.
A rather peculiar incident on the Vetch concerned a fight between an Able Seaman and the Buffer (the PO responsible for the seamen). The AB[1] was a very popular Yorkshire fellow but discipline had deteriorated to a low level due to the attitude of the Buffer and they agreed to meet in the waist of the ship (about amidships) to battle it out to clear the air.
The PO was foolish to accept the challenge and suffered a right thrashing that was stopped by the coxswain after about 10 minutes. The match did not clear the air, indeed it was uglier than ever and the Buffer left the ship on our next visit to Malta.
Ever after this incident when the coxswain came onboard half pissed after shore leave he used to come down to the mess deck and in his half doped state challenging anyone to a fight. No one rose to his challenge and he called everyone a coward for the way the Buffer and had his lot.
All took it in good spirits. There were three seamen messes below ours and they used to say “OK ‘Swain, I’m waiting for you!” and he would stagger down the stairs and the whole procedure would be reversed. Rather pathetic really but nobody disliked the coxswain, but the whole affair with the Buffer had affected him somehow. The funny thing about these incidents was the coxswain had no recall of them whatsoever the next day according to the PO Tel.
¹ Able Seaman.